My 2015 so far

surgery-85574_1280So 2015 isn’t off to the best start.

The weekend before I returned to work after 2 weeks off, my boyfriend needed to go to the emergency room the evening of January 3, 2015 because it was painful to use the bathroom and was unable to empty his bladder.  Without going into the gory details, the on-call urology doctor attempted (and was ultimately unsuccessful) to insert a catheter. He decided to insert a tube directly into his bladder via his stomach. The doctor said that my boyfriend would only feel pressure when the doctor inserted the tube into his bladder.

Bullshit!

The doctor numbed the area of the stomach where he made the incision to insert the tube, so that part was uneventful. But the tube into bladder… Hell, even if I was cringing as the doctor pushed the tube into my boyfriend’s bladder.  Why, I want to know, do (some) doctors downplay the pain that’s coming? I would rather know that I’m about to experience pain, even extreme pain, instead of expecting pressure.

We were back home about 5 hours later, instructions on how to care for the tube protruding from his stomach and the bag attached to the tube. The doctor declined to give my boyfriend any pain pills because he shouldn’t have experienced any pain now the tube was inserted into the bladder.

Bullshit!

After all the tube-shoving and poking, my boyfriend’s penis and prostate area was hurting to the point where he was whimpering for several hours later. Ugh! Even one pain pill would have been nice.

With my boyfriend out of commission for a little while, it fell to me to be the sole provider, playmate, chef, etc., etc. for our 4 year old daughter and chauffeur to take my son back to college. Now I’ve done the single part thing with my son, so I knew what to expect. But back then, I was a younger parent and had more energy. And my son was easy. He listened to me when I said “no” or “time to go to bed.”

My daughter, on the other hand, is a handful. Always questioning everything she’s told. “Why do I have to go to bed?” “Why did you say that, Mommy?” “Why?” “Why?” Her energy level is either on full steam ahead or sleep, either on or off very little in-between. She’s very tiring, very tiring. But now, I’m 15 years older now. I don’t have the same energy as I did when my son was 4. Whew!

While I’m making that adjustment to (almost) single parenthood, my college classes will be starting soon. I have a work-related trip planned to Chicago at the end of the month, as well as a few presentations to prepare. This will be a busy month for me. I’ve never been a very organized person, but I can be organized when I have to be. And I have to be at the moment.  Balancing work, school, and home has always been a fine line. I see a lot of late nights and a few cranky days because of lack of sleep.

Even though I’ve had to change when I meditate, I still find the time to meditate. It has a calming effect on me. Meditation also helps me to focus on my tasks at hand.

I hope your 2015 is beginning the way you’d hoped it would.

Blessed be!

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About Camilla

I am a mom, a librarian, and a student.
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